Every now and then when you go down to your local pub here in Ireland you get to hear the most amazing stories about people who has a life story that would make up for a whole book. How about this one? All names are fictitious.
There is this guy called Seamus who is quite heavy on the drink.
Every now and then he gives his wife Clara a good beating when he comes home from the pub before falling asleep in his grandmother rocking chair front of the open fire.
As you could expect the wife get tired of him and starts to see another man called Henry.
One day on the fields Seamus’s grey Ferguson rolls around and his left leg gets crushed under the tractor and has to be amputated. This is at a time where modern prosthetic limbs yet hasn’t reached the island so the local hospital fits Seamus with, a not to bad looking, wooden leg.
During the time the wife’s lover buys two tickets for him and Seamus’s wife to go for a nice sun holiday somewhere in Spain.
The only thing is that the lover is also married but that matter gets solved when his daughter finds the two tickets to Spain in his inner pocket of his grey tweed jacket. Gladly she rushes to her mum to tell the “happy surprise”. The wife throws him out and he and Seamus’s wife leave for good for the sun in Spain.
After this event Seamus’s drinking gets a little bit more out of hand.
His benders gets extended and every night he falls asleep in front of the open fire with his wooden leg leaning on top of the coal bucket beside the fireplace.
As you can understand such an arrangement doesn’t bode well and after a particular heavy night on the booze the inevitable happens.
Seamus’s wooden leg falls off the coal bucket during a gasp of air between his heavy snoring and the rocking chair rocks his wooden leg into the fire.
All that is left of Semaus’s wooden leg when he wakes up in the morning is a slowly smoking coal stump.
This are the type of things that seems to happen to every other person here in this country.
The good thing is that after this little accident Seamus gave up drinking and his wife is now back with him.